JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
