Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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