that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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