He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
