WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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