At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
