My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize