I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
