You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Randomize
