I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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