She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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