S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
