No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
