A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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