I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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