I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
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Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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