she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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