Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
