My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
