sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
soo... how was my night?
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