The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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