are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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