I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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