I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think people are normalizing furries
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
