Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
