i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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