she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
