dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
