And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
