For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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