there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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