have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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