Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Come see our sink grown plant.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize