why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
