So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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