is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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