it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
