not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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