All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
