Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
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We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh god it's open bar.
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