I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
