I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
