READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
