So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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