Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
