Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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