don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
