Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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