He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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