Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
