So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
