he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
