my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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