Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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