...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
