3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
