i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
