Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
do herpes really smell.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
