I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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