she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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