I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
