Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
